


A Change of Plan

by TheGreenMeerkat



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Always Check in With Your Partner(s)!, Angst, Change of Consent, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Kissing, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Roman's a Sweetheart, So They Don't Have Sex, Tagged as Teen Because Teens Can Handle Topics of Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-27 08:56:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16215722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGreenMeerkat/pseuds/TheGreenMeerkat
Summary: Virgil wanted this.So why was it so difficult to enjoy it?





	A Change of Plan

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo! Just in case it wasn't clear in the tags: This isn't really a smut fic, but it discusses the topic of sex throughout it. It's rated teens because I think most teens can handle this topic (and should know about it, especially about consent) and it's written by me, a teen!
> 
> Enjoy!

    It really was good, at first.

    Seven months into their relationship, and they hadn’t done much more than kissing and cuddling. For the longest time, Virgil could see that Roman wanted to move to the next step, but ever the romantic, he stayed patient. There had to be constant reassurances from him, informing and reinforming Virgil that he was okay waiting.

_ “Roman are you sure you want this?” Virgil could already see Roman was ready to burst into affirmation, but he held his hand up to stop him. “If you date me, things will not go the pace you would normally go. I’m not ready for… all of that.” _

_     The prince simply smiled. “But you want to be my boyfriend, right?” _

_     Virgil felt his entire face heat up and his heart ram against his chest at the word ‘boyfriend.’ It was the first time the word was mentioned in this conversation. “Yeah, but-” _

_     “But nothing. That’s already more than I could ask for from you! If you’ll have me, we can go at whatever pace that makes you comfortable. Okay?” _

    That was the less emotional part of their confessions to each other.

    Roman stuck to his word, too; for the first three months of their relationship, all that was done was holding hands, flirting, and the occasional cuddling. When they finally kissed, it took another two months for Virgil to let him get more passionate with said-kisses.

    So now, seven months into their relationship, Virgil was the one to bring up The Topic.™

    It was possibly one of the most awkward conversations they have had in the span of their relationship, but it was one of the important ones. It set up boundaries first and foremost, and it got rid of some of the anxious side’s original fears. In fact, it made him genuinely excited for it, at least slightly.

    And then it actually happened.

    Roman, sweet amazing Roman, did everything in his power to make the night perfect. In a similar fashion to the mind palace, he conjured up a bedroom that wouldn’t alter or heighten any of their senses. The lights were dim, but not too dark. The temperature was cool, but not too cold. The bed was comfy and inviting, but not too soft. Every little detail was thought of for Virgil’s comfort, and it made him almost tear up.

    Virgil was still terrified, honestly. For their entire relationship, he has always been the one in control, but in this setting… that simply wasn’t a role he’d be comfortable in. Unfortunately, that meant he wouldn’t be able to directly set the pace.

    Roman, bless his heart, recognized this as well, so he immediately set a pace that was almost  _ too _ slow, constantly checking up on Virgil throughout. And honestly? It was perfect. Every kiss and word of praise and the gentleness Roman put in to take off each article of clothing made him feel absolutely loved. Naturally, it should have taken his anxieties away, but...

_ Is this right? Should I be touching him? Am I making too much noise? Too little? Oh god, I look horrible. I don’t deserve all this. What if he’s disappointed? How do I please him too? Is he even enjoying this?  _

    He couldn’t stop thinking, and that’s not  _ normal _ , right? He was pretty sure that most people, once they start getting into sex, stop thinking and start doing. What if Anxiety simply can’t do that? What if he’ll never be able to completely enjoy these activities, constantly second-guessing everything him and Roman do together? What if he can never do or be what Roman wants him to?

    He can manage, he can focus on the good things he’s feeling and ignore all of his thoughts. At least he could, until a hand meets the inside of his upper thigh oh-so lightly, and suddenly he can’t stop his entire body from moving  _ away _ from the touch.

    Roman, of course, notices this and immediately stops touching Virgil. “Are you okay, love? Do you want to stop?”

    He wants to say no, and it wouldn’t be a lie, either. He wants to continue so badly, to finally know what the feeling is like, so why can’t he say it? Why does he have so much doubt, why is he suddenly not ready for this again? He feels tears start to prick up in his eyes and _no, you can’t do this to him, he worked so hard, you have to-_

    In the otherwise quiet room, a snap of fingers could be heard that snapped (ha) Virgil out of his head. Suddenly, both him and Roman were in the sleep clothes they started out in at the beginning of the night. That felt like hours ago, but it must have only been a few minutes, considering they hadn't gone any farther than kissing and undressing.

    He took a risk and looked up at his boyfriend. His pupils were still big and his face was still slightly pink, but his brow was creased with worry, and his wide-eyed stare seemed almost fearful. Virgil immediately felt incredibly guilty.

    “I’m sorry.” he whispers, trying desperately not to cry.

    “Oh no, no honey, don’t be sorry. I-” Roman surged forward slightly, but stopped himself. “May I hug you?” Roman was always very careful with consent in any situation, knowing that sometimes touch could simply be overwhelming for the anxious side.

    He knew the moment Roman wrapped his arms around him, he would not be able to hold back tears anymore. Despite that, the growing need for comfort won over keeping his dignity, and a small nod let his boyfriend know it was okay. As he predicted, tears and sobs immediately spilled out once he was embraced. Tiny, pathetic “I’m sorry’s” leaked from his mouth.

    The creative side soothingly moved a hand through his hair. “Shh, no apologizing, love. You did nothing wrong.  _ I’m _ sorry! I should have checked up on you more!”

    Virgil couldn’t fight back the laugh through his tears. “Dude, you literally kept asking me if you could keep going every two seconds. I don’t think that was the problem.”

    “Maybe, but I don’t think I asked if you _wanted_ me to enough.” Roman suddenly shifted, his hands placed on Virgil’s shoulders and his eyes looking into his with intensity. “Virgil, you know you don’t  _ owe  _ me anything, right? You know I’m not entitled to sex, or anything like that?”

    “I know that,” the darker side scoffed. Now that he thinks about it, though, he may have forgotten somewhere in between there. Why didn’t he just tell him to stop when he wanted him to? “I did want this, Roman. I wouldn’t have lied to you about that. I didn’t  _ lie _ to you about  _ anything.” _

    “Of course! But…” his prince seemed to take a moment to think about his next wording, something he has been practicing with after letting out thoughts impulsively way too many times. “There’s a difference between wanting sex and being ready for it. I think you wanted it, but weren’t ready. I want you to be  _ both  _ before we do anything.”

    Virgil pondered that for a moment. What did it even mean to be ready for sex? He needed to work on his self-esteem, that’s for sure, but how else do you prepare for something so intimate?

    Maybe that was an issue he could save for another time.

    “It’s just- I  _ know  _ I don’t owe you sex, but I could tell this was important to you. Hell, you’re practically the physical embodiment of romance! You probably view sex as some ultimate bonding thing, and you worked so hard on this room, I just- I…” Suddenly, it seemed Virgil was completely contradicting his original point. “I’m an idiot. I ruined everything.”

    When Roman laughed, Virgil looked up in surprise and saw only love in his boyfriend’s eyes. “Well you were right about one thing there; you’re an idiot.”

    “Hey!” He went to punch Roman’s arm, but the prince dodged with ease. This led to a wrestle that could barely be considered fighting as both sides were distracted by their own laughing fits.

    They both ended up flopping back next to each other on the cozy bed, still fighting back giggles and smiling with a complete fondness for each other. “Y’know I would have won if that was a real fight.”

    “Oh? You don’t think my training would be enough to beat Anxiety?”

    Quite suddenly, Virgil tackled Roman once more. It may have been an unfair battle due to the sneak attack, but Anxiety easily pinned his counterpart in seconds, wrists held down on the bed. “Fight or flight, bitch.”

     _Huh._ Seeing Roman’s flushed face and starry eyes, maybe he was wrong about his original assumption that he wouldn’t enjoy being in control. At that thought, he immediately scrambled off his boyfriend’s lap and back to the side of him, making said-boyfriend laugh.

    “I can’t believe you really thought you ruined this night for me.”

    Virgil felt himself tense up. “What?”

    Roman once again shifted, now sitting up. Virgil followed him. “You really think this room was made just for something so trivial as sex?” He suddenly stood up, walking to the center. “The drawers of the desk? Filled with art supplies. We have a laptop, a radio, even a TV! The closet? Filled with blankets and pillows to make a fort, plus plenty of room to store anything you want. We even have a bathroom, with a working shower and sink and even two toothbrushes, red and purple. Virgil, my moon, my angel, this room is  _ ours. _ I’ve been planning and preparing it long before you talked to me about sex.”

    Virgil… was absolutely stunned. How long did Roman work on this room? How many details have gone completely unnoticed to him, due to assuming it was all just props? “Ro, is this your way of asking me to move in with you?”

     The side in question rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, not really. I have no idea what would happen if we just ditched the rooms that were quite literally made for us, but… It’s an option, for whenever we want to be together for whatever reason. I wasn’t going to tell you that yet, just in case you weren’t ready, but you deserve to know what this is really for. It’s simply…” Roman opened up his palm, revealing a golden key. “An option.”

    His whole body was practically shaking, but Virgil got up to grab the key anyway. Looking at it closely now, he saw his name engraved on one side in fancy letters, and a heart on the other side. That was enough for tears to start spilling again. “Goddammit Princey, who gave you permission to make me cry twice in the same night?”

    Roman wrapped one arm around Virgil’s waist and used his open hand to gently wipe away a tear from Virgil’s cheek. “I’m sorry, Stormcloud. I hope this time it’s happy tears.”

    He let out a huff of a laugh. “Yeah, I-” Suddenly, three words weighed on Virgil’s tongue, three words that neither of them have truly spoken yet. He knows this would be the perfect moment, and he’s been wanting to say it for months now, but was he ready?

    He was scared, but the soft smile and love in Roman’s reddish brown eyes gave him a burst of confidence, and he was suddenly reminded of when he first revealed his name. He was ready.

    With tight fists and closed eyes, Virgil said it with a quiet, yet strong voice. “I love you.”

    “Oh,” was the first response, and Virgil felt all of his nerves from earlier increase tenfold,  _ why did you say tha- _

_“_ Oh, _mi amor,”_ Roman sounded like he was choking up as he wrapped himself around Virgil tightly. “I love you too, so much. I’m so glad I get to say that now.” The darker side has to agree, because no matter how sappy it sounds, he feels like he could now say it a thousand more times with ease.

    Roman  _ loves  _ him, and he can be sure of that now. No more self-doubt, no more fearing a return of the past (Roman has made sure to apologize just about a hundred times), because he can feel that love so much and can’t help but feel it for the other side just as much.

    He doesn’t even register when they start kissing, but it’s possibly the most loving kiss they’ve shared, and when they pull away there are tear stains on both of their cheeks, and Virgil feels like a man who was just proposed to.

    “Oh, love, you’re  _ shaking. _ ” Virgil didn’t even notice, but now he felt his legs just about close to collapsing. “Back to bed?”

    “Yeah, I’m-” He was suddenly being lifted up by strong hands, bridal style. “Babe, the bed is literally  _ two feet _ away. I don’t need to be carried.”

    Roman tried to keep a sly expression, but Virgil didn’t miss the redness that appeared from the nickname. “Me? Not perform a grand romantic gesture? Who do you think I am?” As he spoke, the prince lowered Virgil onto the left side of the bed (which was against the wall, just how Virgil liked it) and settled in next to him.

    The darker side immediately curled into his chest. The two stayed in silence for a moment, simply enjoying each other’s warmth.

    “Well, this night certainly wasn’t what I thought it would be,” Virgil mumbled into Roman’s chest.

    “Oh, that reminds me!” Creativity was suddenly pushing his counterpart away from his chest. The whine that Virgil gave made him chuckle. “Just for a moment,  _ mi estrella.  _ This is important.”

    Virgil’s brow furrowed. “Did you just call me your Australia?”

    “Wha- no!  _ Estrella! _ It means star! I mean, technically I should have said  _ mi astro  _ because that’s the masculine version, but I think estrella sounds much more romantic and, honestly, fuck gender roles-” Roman shakes his head. “Anyways, earlier you mentioned my views on sex.”

    For about the millionth time that night, Virgil felt himself tense up. “Uh, yeah?”

    “Virgil, sex is probably one of the least important things to me.” Roman’s words immediately soothed him. “Sex can mean many different things, from the most intimate exchange of two lovers to a simple night of easing stress. No matter what it means, however, it should always be consensual and  _ fun, _ for all parties involved.”

    “That was… surprisingly philosophical. Logan, where did you put my boyfriend?”

    The Roman imposture giggled and placed a soft, chaste kiss on Virgil’s lips that made him melt. Yup, definitely still Roman. “Would Logan do that?”

    “I hope not. I mean, I love the guy, but not like that.” Both of them were now lightly laughing. It seemed that, no matter what they did, they couldn’t quite stay on topic when they were around each other.

    “Seriously though, Virgil. I want you to have fun when we have sex, or even if we do. I don’t care if we don’t do it for years or never do it at all; my happiness in this relationship comes from moments like these, when I get to hold you,” Roman proved his point by pulling Virgil closer, “and kiss you,” Roman pressed his lips to Virgil’s forehead, “and tell you how much I love you.”

    Anxiety fought back both a blush and a laugh. “God, you’re such a sap. Why am I even dating you?” As Roman made his famous Offended Princey Noises™, Virgil chuckled and cuddled closer to him. “I  _ guess _ I love you.”

    “Oh, you’re the  _ worst. _ ” The prince pecked his knight’s cheek, showing no real malcontent. “I love you too.”

    The first night in Creativity and Anxiety’s room was spent in each other’s arms, and it truly was more than Roman could ever ask for.

**Author's Note:**

> This was super interesting to write! Remember folks, consent changes sometimes, no one owes you sex, and you don't owe anybody else sex. Stay safe and have fun!
> 
> Yell at me in the comments if you enjoyed!


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